Midlife Crisis

 By Sarah Mahoney- Good Housekeeping


Myth : Every guy has a midlife crisis - any day, your spouse will drive off in a new red sports car.
It's true that men sometimes do crazy things when they reach a certain age. You may feel like snickering at some of their attempts to regain their lost youth, like the balding executive who gets a spanking-new Harley - or a much younger girlfriend. Such drastic changes are fortunately far from commonplace outside the soaps, but psychologists say that most of us will go through a period of midlife reevaluation.


New rule: It's not a crisis - and it's not just for men.
Actually, this period of reexamination is a healthy part of development. As people move into their 40s, 50s, and beyond, their perspectives shift. Careers may plateau or take off in unexpected new directions. The first serious health problem may come along, or a parent may die and spur you to rethink your priorities. All of these are natural, inevitable transitions, and the best approach to dealing with them is to learn what you can and follow where they lead you. Fortunately, most people do: A recent poll by volunteermatch.org found that more than half of those over 55 are looking forward to starting new chapters in their lives.
More and more the phrase "midlife crisis" is being swapped for "reinvention"; all across America, you can hear men and women talking about their second acts. But rarely do they mean a full-scale life overhaul. More often they're contemplating ways to make more time for what they already love. Men who have done a little woodworking take on a deck redesign; women who have always wanted more time to get in shape sign up for their first triathlon.
Not only are these course corrections good for us as individuals, they also seem to invigorate our relationships. People in their 40s and 50s feel they have more control over their work, their finances, and their marriages, reports a multi-university study. Some crisis, huh? Instead of worrying about his issues, focus on whether you're ripe for reinvention yourself. Rediscover your priorities, and above all, don't feel you're being selfish by pursuing your passion: What's good for you is good for your marriage, too.

Behind the Curtains

Cheating...Why?

Love this! 

Cheating, Infidelity, Creeping, or whatever you want to call it...it's all WRONG!

Marriage vows seem to mean very little to the majority of society these days. Having a 

television show called, Cheaters, is just ridiculous. Why? Why on the planet Earth

would a show like that be aired? smh...

Real Love

Got Real Love?

click above link to find out!

 

Every marriage has a story!

If you've been married for any amount of time, you are obviously having a successful marriage.

Every marriage will endure problems and your marriage may be going through a difficult storm right now, but hang in there!

Don't be afraid to share your story with someone else who has gone through what you've already survived. Nothing is new under the sun, and although the issues may not be exact, often the solutions are.

Patience, understanding, forgiving, acceptance, prayer, etc...

Share your story and help another couple realize they aren't alone.

How Long?

Lately, I've been meeting older women who have stayed in their marriages although they are not happy.  This is old school love...the til death we do part kinda love that seems to be leaving the new school marriages of today.

The fact is, there is no old school or new school marriage. Marriage has always been and will always be...it's the people in the marriage that have lost values, morals, and respect for not only marriage but obviously their mate.

Take a look at your marriage. Are you willing to put up with what you might be sick and tired of til death or are you ready to just throw in the towel because you're sick and tired?

Remember this, if you are a Believer, God hasn't gotten sick and tired of you!

Hmmm...I'm chewing on that statement myself!

Til Death Do Us Part

 "I Do"

I do...agree to stand by my mate through good times and bad times
I do...agree to stand behind my mate in difficult circumstances
I do...agree to recognize my mate's weaknesses, but not use them against him/her
I do...agree to look beyond my mate's faults
I do...agree to be my mate's FRIEND through thick and thin
I do...agree to forgive and restore regardless of the issues at hand
I do...agree to put my mate's needs before my own
I do...agree to love my mate especially in the unlovable moments
I do...agree to expect hard times and believe they will make us stronger
I do...agree to embrace my mate's total being
I do...agree to do my best to get to know my mate
I do...agree to not nag, purposely irritate, or frustrate my mate
I do...agree to look past my mate's bad days
I do...agree to encourage my mate
I do...agree to speak good things about my mate
I do...agree to find the good in everything about my mate
I do...agree to remember I made a vow to "I do" till death do us part
Do you?

"I Do!"

I haven’t blogged in a while because I’ve been speechless. I guess for a blog, I can say I've been wordless. 

I’m saddened by the number of marriages in my circle going through difficult times and I’m even more saddened by the ones pretending everything is okay. It’s no secret, marriage is difficult – downright hard as hell, especially if you don’t work at it.

Saying “I Do” was only the ignition for the fire. Just like a car...if all you do is start it up every time you get in it, then expect the car to stop running one day.  The oil needs to be checked and changed periodically, the tires need air, the transmission needs fluid, and even something as small as the windshield wipers need attention. They need fluid to work properly and you NEVER know when it might rain. The same is with a marriage, you NEVER know when your marriage may be hit by a storm, so it's best to be prepared. Do your part with the maintenance plan of your marriage.  

Saying, “I Do” has very little to do with the work a marriage requires, but saying, “I Do” is definitely agreeing to hard times in your marriage. We focus so much on the wedding plans, we forget the marriage is planning something for you! Most of us had no idea the plans our marriage had in store for us. I know I was KNOCKED OFF MY FEET! After eighteen years, we still go through.

God promised we would have trials and hard times, marriage IS NOT excluded. The foundation of the world and the church is a strong marriage, so of course marriages will often stand on shaky ground. 

You really don’t get to know a person until you say, “I Do.” I don’t know what it is about those two magical words, I Do, but it’s almost saying I do to revealing your true self, exposing your baggage that wasn’t visible at the alter, and taking the mask off that was worn throughout the dating stage.

Welcome to the land of "I Do."  Do you? Really? 

Stay tuned...I'm no longer wordless.

Words Hurt

While perusing through the pages of The 10 Commandments of Marriage by Ed Young, I came across the below passage and wanted to share.

"You know how most men and women respond to conflicts in marriage? They react with harsh words. They retaliate. They offer insult for insult. For instance,

• "Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" a wife asks.  Because it reminds me I married the wrong woman." he replies.
• "We have a good marriage," says a wife, "because both of us love the same man - You!"
• "You love football more than you love me," a woman complains. "Maybe so," her husband replies, "but I love you better than baseball."
• "What do your husband and you have in common?" a counselor wondered. "One thing," the woman replied. "Neither one of us can stand the other."

The statements may be humorous, but they help illustrate the lowest common denominator  to which many marriages sink in exchanging insult  for insult, injury for injury. "


If you don't think you can feel words, think again...words hurt!